Look away
by Princess Tyler Briefs
Summary: A sad Taiora. Overrated I think, but I don't think little kids should read it. Anyway it's Tai's POV. I don't like it but what the hey? I don't like my poems either.


A/N: The sleeper has awakened! …Okay that makes no sense to anyone but my friends from TDE. Yes guys Tai is the Mon is back in business! I got a knock on the head that woke me up enough to write a 02 Taiora fic! Yippee! I'd forgotten how much I loved to do this! Feels so good! Anywho, I'm rambling so on with the fic!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own digimon and if I did Sorato wouldn't have happened. If you like that couple that's fine, but I don't. Anyway. I don't own the song either, for that matter. I think Chicago does, but don't quote me on that.  
  
1 Look Away  
  
Well, you called me up this morning  
  
Told me 'bout the new love that you found  
  
Said, "I'm happy for you. I'm really happy for you."  
  
Found someone else, I guess I won't be coming 'round  
  
"In case Matt's free latter." She had no idea how badly that hurt me. How deep a wound she'd created. Well maybe a very vague idea. She thought I'd be mad at her. Yeah right, like I could ever hurt her. Not like she'd hurt me. I told her it was okay, to go have fun, and say hi to Matt for me. I told her I'd be waiting. She thought I meant for the cookies, but it wasn't. I meant my heart would be waiting forever. Agumon told me that I'd grown up, and I wasn't sure how to take it. I didn't get a chance to make up my mind as Jun knocked us over right then. I swear that girl's crazier then a flock of dodo birds, but that's beside the point. I went to the concert like I'd planned, even though I longed to go home or to Ken's Christmas party. But my best friend might have been hurt if I hadn't come, and Sora would know something was up. I didn't want her to know that she'd hurt me, because that would make her feel bad. And the Sora I loved was happy, cheerful, and selfless. She was responsible, and looked out for me. Better, I must admit, then sometimes I looked after myself sometimes. Like in Etamon's pyramid or when the group split. When she got captured I lost it, and it was all I could do to pick up my pieces and go get her. I got myself together to save her because she was one of my best friends since we were little kids, and because I loved her. For those same reasons I got myself together before the concert, trying to be my regular self.  
  
"Anyone sitting here?"  
  
"Nah have a sit." She scooted over to make room for me, and I set Agumon on my lap.  
  
"How was your visit with Matt?"  
  
"It was nice. He really liked the cookies, and asked if I was doing anything for New Years."  
  
"Oh that's great Sora. I'm really happy for you."  
  
"You are Tai? You mean it?"  
  
"Sure! My two best friends hooking up, what could be better?" She didn't know how hard I had to work to keep the sarcasm out of my voice.  
  
I guess it's over, baby  
  
It's really over, baby,  
  
And from what you're saying  
  
I know you've gotten over me  
  
I didn't see her again until Izzy hooked us up to follow one of the dark spore kids. I wanted to kill the kid! That was the best, and worst, thing he could have done! He knew we worked as a good team, and that together we'd get the job done. But he was the only one on the team who knew how I really felt about Sora. I'd let it slip once, about a year after the digital world. We'd hung out a lot after the whole Diaboromon thing. I guess it was Izzy who kinda' taught me to grow up while I taught him to lighten up. Anyway we were talking about girls, seemed he been having a little trouble with them. And, in my trademark, fashion I didn't think before I spoke and told him my feelings for Sora. He didn't seem surprised though. As a matter a fact, he told me he'd guessed it all along. I think it was because of our three yearlong friendship that I didn't pop him one then and there.  
  
I got to talk to Matt to, soon after his concert. That was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I'd have rather faced the dark masters again then done that. He didn't know how I felt about Sora, even though I think somewhere in the back of his mind he remembered me telling him once, in a time and place now long forgotten. Or maybe not forgotten, just replaced. He told me how he felt about her, how he longed for the chance to hold her in his arms. He told me exactly how he felt, and in so much detail I wanted to sock him one. But I didn't, because I loved Sora still. And I didn't do anything that day because I didn't want to compromise all that I'd finally gained. I did learn one thing between all that though. Whoever said, "It's better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all" can go suck a lemon.  
  
It'll never be the way it used to be  
  
So if it's gotta be this way  
  
Don't worry, baby, I can take the news okay  
  
After MaloMyotismon was defeated I got to watch from a distance their little love affair blossom. And it hurt at night. Three of twelve people knew exactly how I felt. Izzy, who it seems once had feelings for Mimi and had watched her free and flirtatious spirit drift away. He said it had been a fling for a year after we got back from the digital world, but it was long over and didn't hurt anymore. Still, he could sympathize. Kari, as my sister and the empathetic soul she is, understood beyond a doubt and swore not to say anything to anyone. And of course, Davis, my adoptive kid brother. He always has, and always will I think, carry a torch for Kari. He knew how I felt every time Kari and TK acted, well, like they always had. He was totally sympathetic, which actually was kinda' scary, knowing him as long as I had. I just wanted him to be, well, Davis and not be me. I'd made some pretty bad mistakes in my life, and my moment as the leader of the digidestined. Mistakes that had almost cost us everything. I guess the only reason they kept me was because I wouldn't step down. Not to Matt, not Izzy, not to anyone. I was leader, I knew what had to be done and would get it done. I was Taichi Kamiya and no one could tell me what to do. Maybe that's why Sora left. To find a guy who had a direction in life, and wasn't following his heart without using his head.  
  
But if you see me walking by, and the tears are in my eyes,  
  
Look away, baby, look away.  
  
If we meet on the street some day, and I don't know what to say,  
  
Look away, baby, look away.  
  
Don't look at me; I don't want you to see me this way.  
  
I never dated in high school, and everyone but Sora and Matt noticed and found it odd. After all I was the school's star athlete, student body president, and the guy everyone wanted to be. The guy every girl wanted to date. Every girl, that is, except Sora. The one that mattered the most, only had eyes for the other boy everyone wanted to be. Okay so he wasn't a super hip star anymore, and he was taken, but that didn't stop the girls from dreaming. There had been a few times when Matt had been tricked, caught, and had to explain to an angry and hurt Sora what had happened. She never listened to him when she was like that, and often said things she didn't mean. Guess whom she'd turn to when the storm had blown itself out and her heart was in pieces? Guess who ended up picking up those pieces and sending her back into the arms of another? I wanted so badly to just end it right there. It would have been so easy to do, to stop that relationship. To snip it in the bud and send her right to me. But I didn't. I couldn't bring myself to hurt them like that. Couldn't make myself hurt them…like they'd hurt me.  
  
  
  
When we both agreed as lovers  
  
We were better off as friends  
  
That's how it had to be  
  
Yeah, that's how it had to be  
  
I did get married, I found someone who could ease the pain. Lizzy was one of the greatest girls ever, with a dazzling smile and understanding laughter. She was the one who stayed by me when I injured my leg and could no longer play soccer. She was the one who, even when I chopped of my hair, thought I was the best looking guy ever. And she was the one who loved me, even though she knew I still had feelings for Sora. She just accepted that, and I loved her all the more for it. She was the mother of my little boy Tyler. She was the one who died to give that little boy life. After she died I just, kind of, drifted away. I heard Sora had had a little girl, and that Matt was an astronaut. Where that had come from, I don't know, but it had come anyway. All I knew was that by the time Tyler was two years old I didn't know where any of the digidestined where. On that note, I didn't even know where I was. I was working almost around the clock, trying to make ends meat. I barely had enough to keep Tyler fed and pay for a babysitter, let alone feed myself. I refused to turn to my parents or Kari for help. I was the leader, I was strong. I could do it, without help. And then I remembered Sora's words of wisdom when we were kids. Things she'd tell me, that, at the time hurt like a smack on the hand. Now they made me see how wrong I was. I could hear her voice telling me I was immature. Hear her yelling at me for dragging everyone into another digital fiasco. And so it was to her I turned for help. And she helped me, without question and without making me feel like I was accepting charity. She knew how to handle me, like I knew how to handle her. Like I couldn't handle myself.  
  
I tell you I'm fine, but sometimes I just pretend  
  
Wish you were holding me, wish you were still holding me,  
  
I just never thought  
  
That I would be replaced so soon  
  
And I can still remember those days in high school, when maybe she could sense something was wrong, like she did many days when I went to drop Tyler off.  
  
"What's wrong Tai?"  
  
"Nothin'."  
  
"Don't 'Nothin'' me. I can tell when something's wrong with my best friend. Now Taichi Kamiya tell me what's bothering you."  
  
"Nothing honest! Just…girl trouble."  
  
"Mister 'I don't need no help from nobody' is having girl trouble?"  
  
"Yeah well you girls are mighty strange creatures." She'd punch me lightly on the arm then, and smile that smile of hers. The smile that killed.  
  
"Oh very funny great leader. Anything I can do to help?" Those where the times I would almost tell her. When the words I longed to say would be on the tip of my tongue. But I shake my head and force my mouth into a carefree smile.  
  
"Nah. This boy can handle himself just fine." And then she'd laugh and brush my bangs out of my face. Not knowing that it hurt more every time.  
  
I wasn't prepared to hear those words from you  
  
I know I wanted to be free  
  
Yeah, baby this is how we wanted it to be  
  
"Daddy?" Tyler would ask every once in a while when he was about five, and used to spending days with Sora and Matt now.  
  
"Yeah Ty-guy?"  
  
"Where'd mommy go?"  
  
"She's gone Tyler."  
  
"Is she ever coming back?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Then how come I can feel her?"  
  
"'Cause she's still in my heart, in your heart. She'll never leave us Tyler."  
  
"How does that work daddy?"  
  
"Who are you, Uncle Izzy?" Tyler would make a face, remembering Izzy's daughter Kyoto. It was funny, but they never seemed to get along as well as Izzy and I. Or maybe they get along as well as Izzy and I when we first met and I told him that all his computer needed was a few good whacks.  
  
"No! If mommy isn't here then where is she?"  
  
"She's in heaven."  
  
"Is she an angel?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Like Aunt Sora?" And every time he said that I had to fight myself not to cry.  
  
"Yeah Ty-guy. Like Aunt Sora. Now come on, time for bed." Then I'd scoop him up in my arms and tuck him in. Thinking of what I could have had with either girl, if I hadn't waited just a little to long.  
  
But if you see me walking by, and the tears are in my eyes,  
  
Look away, baby, look away.  
  
And if we meet on the street some day, and I don't know what to say,  
  
Look away, baby, look away.  
  
Don't look at me; I don't want you to see me this way.  
  
It was rather a shock for Tyler and me when Sora and Matt split up. Matt took their younger boy, Braden, and Sora took their girl, Shellie. Tyler still spent most of his free time playing with Shellie or his cousin Chandler. But my days were less full now; I'd found a job as ambassador. Not one I would have thought but whatever work I was happy to do. Just as long as it kept Tyler in a safe, happy, environment. Agumon was back, and he brought Tyler a Koromon of his own. This helped more then Agumon realized, and I was glad to drag him along to my boring meetings when it was all I could do to keep from cracking up at the serious tone of everyone. It just wasn't in my personality to be like them. Sora came over sometimes, when she could get away from her work. And we would talk, while the kids and digimon would play.  
  
"Do you like your work Tai?"  
  
"Does a cat like water?"  
  
"I'll take that as a no. If you don't like it, why do you still go?"  
  
"Because sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do."  
  
"Oh Taichi!"  
  
"Well it's true! Besides, it keeps a roof over our heads and food on the table. What more do I want." Then we'd fall silent for a moment as Sora looked around.  
  
"You need a wife to tidy up this pig sty! I swear your cleaning habits are just as bad as when you were eleven."  
  
"I resent that! Their twice as bad!" Several times I came close to asking her if she was applying for the job, but I bit it back. I wouldn't do that to her, not so soon after Matt and her split up. Then she'd look at me. Her eyes, those eyes of an unknown color, would be serious.  
  
"We're not the kids we used to be, are we Taichi?"  
  
"No we're not."  
  
"We've come along way since then haven't we? Done and seen and said things we wish we hadn't."  
  
"Or not said things we wish we would have." Sometimes I think she got the hint, and sometimes I was sure she missed it entirely. Either way she'd get up, kiss my forehead in a friendly way, and start cleaning up my 'pig sty'.  
  
  
  
If you see me walking by, and the tears are in my eyes,  
  
Look away, baby, look away.  
  
And if we meet on the street some day, and I don't know what to say,  
  
Look away, baby, look away.  
  
Don't look at me; I don't want you to see me this way.  
  
If you see me walking by, and the tears are in my eyes,  
  
Look away, baby, look away. Don't look at me; I don't want you to see me.  
  
Well, you called me up this morning  
  
Told me 'bout the new love that you found  
  
I said, "I'm happy for you. I'm really happy for you."  
  
And so the years past from that fateful Christmas Eve night. And I don't think I ever got my cookies either. At the 25-year reunion of the digidestined it was a surprise to see how much everyone had grown. I hadn't seen Davis in ages. I wouldn't have recognized him if his son hadn't been wearing my goggles. Funny, he still managed to have the same hair cut as me. And I only had one thing to say to Sora then, that I hadn't dared speak any other time. I stood close to her as the young kids played with Ken and Yolie's little baby. I put my head close to hers, just like I used to do, and whispered three simple words in her ear.  
  
"I'm still waiting."  
  
A/N End: Not as good as I used to write, I don't think. But not bad. I like the ending ^_^. Anyway read/review/ignore/flame whatever. I don't care *shrugs* my stories are purely for my own amusement and are only posted because I'm curious to what others might think. Anyway bye for now.  
  
-Tyler 


End file.
